Leadership That Lacks Empathy and Responsibility is a Maturity Issue
Some CEOs need to learn the skills of an effective grown-up.
CEO Andi Owen of furniture maker MillerKnoll recently responded to questions from her employees on a Zoom call.
Her message went over like a lead balloon with her employees and with the public who saw a video of the call. Most new outlets have written about Owen’s controversial message, the backlash, and the statement she released which she and the company referred to as an apology.
The video of Owen responding to employees exposed not only her lack of people skills but her inability to handle her emotions when triggered. She was clearly angry at her people for being upset about not getting a bonus. But she was clueless about how to effectively respond to their concerns.
Here’s her message:
Right from the start she shames her employees for feeling worried. She scolds them with this comment about their questions, “Some of them were nice and some of them were not so nice.”
She was oblivious to their feelings and needs. She was trying to give her people a pep talk but she never made the message about them. Everything she said was about the company and its bottom line. She treated her employees like simple cogs in the company’s profit-making wheel. She had zero empathy for how not getting a bonus might impact them, and essentially told them to man up.
Ms. Owen’s privilege was showing and it was repugnant. The average pay of the employees she was addressing is around $43k. Owen received a $4 million bonus last year.
A MillerKnoll statement said that Owen's comments were taken out of context. Good try. Now the public will think poorly of the company as well.
There was this Inc. Magazine article that analyzed the situation and claimed that Owen learned from the experience and fixed the problem with an apology. I couldn’t disagree more with that assessment.
From the Inc. article: “One thing Owen did well in this situation: Once she realized her mistake, she swiftly apologized. Just as important as making the apology, was the way she did it.”
No, it was a pseudo-apology and she didn’t do it well. Here’s what she said in her email to employees:
“I want to be transparent and empathetic, and as I continue to reflect on this instance, I feel terrible that my rallying cry seemed insensitive. What I’d hoped would energize the team to meet a challenge we’ve met many times before landed in a way that I did not intend and for that I am sorry.” — Andi Owen.
That’s not an apology — that’s mostly an excuse.
Her statement sounded like most other excuses that we too often accept as an apology from public officials. The media can’t distinguish between an authentic apology and excuses and they therefore never call them out. That’s unfortunate because the public never learns the difference.
We accept the gaslighting of non-apologies regardless of whether they are intentional or simply come out of ignorance. But those who offer excuses instead of expressing their awareness of what they did wrong, explaining exactly how they will do better in the future, and offering a sincere “I’m sorry,” are bad role models. They are not people to emulate and they have not earned our respect.
What’s Wrong With Owen’s “Apology” Statement?
Her focus was still on herself and the company, and not on her employees where it should have been.
Her statement was vague and instead of actually expressing empathy or being transparent she simply said that’s what she wanted to be.
She mocked her employees by saying “What I’d hoped would energize the team to meet a challenge we’ve met many times before.” That statement was passive-aggressive with an underlying message of “What’s wrong with you people? Why can’t you do this again?”
She said that how her message came across was not what she intended, but she still didn’t address the concerns and feelings of her employees. The empathy was still missing and she essentially blamed the employees for how they interpreted what she said.
She Didn’t Take Responsibility
She was still clueless but even worse, she didn’t take responsibility. She blamed how her message landed rather than the message itself. She said she was sorry for how it landed, but didn’t apologize for her behavior - for being tone-deaf and totally out of touch with their concerns. She said, “my rallying cry seemed insensitive.”
No, it didn’t seem insensitive — it was insensitive.
She didn’t acknowledge her lack of compassion or her communication shortcomings. She took no responsibility.
Andi Owen Didn’t Learn from Her Mistake
Andi Owen learned nothing from her inappropriate behavior. That’s because she still doesn’t understand what she did wrong. She is still unaware that she lacks essential leadership skills. She doesn’t know that she didn’t apologize.
Ms. Owen has a long way to go in developing her emotional intelligence.
Step One: She needs to grow up.
Her inability to take responsibility is a maturity issue. Her lack of self-awareness and compassion are also maturity issues.
If Andi Owen wants to stay in a C-Level position at MillerKnoll or elsewhere she’d be wise to find a good leadership coach who can teach her:
- Practices to help her gain self-awareness
- Assertiveness skills to help her communicate more cleanly
- How to cultivate equanimity to remain calm when triggered
- To practice direct communication without passive-aggression
- How to tune in to the needs and experiences of her employees
- How to develop empathy and compassion
- How to take full responsibility for herself
- The elements of an authentic apology and how to craft one
I focused on Ms. Owen because her original message and misguided attempt at an apology were the perfect case study. Unfortunately, she’s not unique.
There are many CEOs in the corporate world who lack the relational skills necessary for effective leadership. If you’re one of them, you can get started or refine your skills here: Relational & Procedural Skills.
