I’m here to defend the mystery emotion of anger — to help you understand it, accept it, and learn how to handle it in yourself and from others.
Anger has been wrongfully accused, by many, of being a bad, undesirable emotion. If we hold that belief we will try to avoid it, or we will deny its existence in ourselves, or we’ll engage in passive-aggressive behavior whether we’re conscious of it or not.
We likely all agree that anger is a powerful emotion. Let’s take a close look.
We each have a unique anger profile — our default way of…
During a routine traffic stop, Officer Kim Potter pulled her gun and shot Daunte Wright point-blank in the chest. He was dead within minutes.
Brooklyn Center Police Chief Tim Gannon said in a statement that the fatal shooting of Daunte Wright was “an accident” — that the officer pulled out her gun when she had intended to pull out her taser.
Many are asking how is it possible that Officer Potter’s shooting of Daunte Wright was unintentional? She’s been a police officer for 26-years. She is the president of the Brooklyn Center Police Officer’s Association.
Potter should be the quintessential…
When was the last time you heard an authentic apology?
You might think you’ve heard a lot of them…apologies. But at least some and perhaps many were a bucket of excuses or halfhearted non-apologies.
We don’t often hear a full-fledged apology in our families or our workplace. We almost never hear them from public officials.
Maybe it’s my imagination but weren’t true apologies more common in the past?
Sincere, authentic apologies are now on the endangered skills list.
I’ll share my thoughts about why so many in our society can’t take responsibility for themselves, and either refuse or don’t know…
This is what Democrats have tolerated from the GOP for decades.
I’m referring to the type of abuser who takes advantage of your good faith and trust, who manipulates you and gets you to do things for them.
After each incident, they may deny that it happened or gaslight with a spin of the story. They often attempt to reconcile and the next time try to convince you they’re sincere.
They convince you to trust them again.
They convince you to trust an untrustworthy person.
I’ll do a flashback to who started what can truly be called abuse, but for…
The Capitol insurrectionists were not interested in conservative ideals. They were not interested in electing or supporting Republicans. They were there to stop the so-called steal, but were they more interested in stopping “The Libs?”
Those extremists and many Republicans have been hearing the decades-long drumbeat of negative messages about Democrats.
We talk about how they getting their jollies “owning the Libs” but it’s far more dangerous than that. Many of those who have listened to FCN, individual Republicans, and other right-wing media and talk show hosts have come to believe that Democrats and liberals are their enemies.
In 2020, Ashley found herself in the thick of an extremely popular conspiracy theory. Listen to her tell her story in the video below.
Ashley is a courageous woman who shared her story so that others who fell into the same rabbit hole might also find their way out. I feature her here with full respect and compassion, as someone who has not had the opportunity or guidance to develop the boundary strength that would offer her full autonomy and safety. She struggled like many of us have with something that is neither our fault nor a character defect.
Many of us “sort of” knew that, but it kept “failing.” A real coup never materialized. Trump kept doing dumb things and each one seemed to fail. As activists, we worked on the Georgia Senate race and held our breath waiting for January 20th.
Indi described what happened after the “failed coup” in his own country Sri Lanka. The story started with naive foolishness:
“The minority party threw chili powder at everyone in Parliament and took over by farce.”
The Sri Lankan courts…
You’ve likely heard that assertiveness is a “communication skill.”
Cue the eye-rolling. Then keep reading.
Assertiveness is an approach to interaction and self-expression that is direct and clear. Sadly it’s also somewhat rare. In its purest form, assertiveness is a communication style of simplicity that is free of negative energy.
Assertive communication can be firm and truthful but is not unkind. Its goal is clarity and it accomplishes that by not beating around the bush, and not holding back on what needs to be said, yet choosing words wisely and responsibly to present a complete message.
Unfortunately, many of us…
To be the most effective in our relationships at home and at work, we need proficiency in relational skills. These include Self-Awareness, Assertiveness, Personal Boundaries, Emotional Self-Management, Conflict Resolution, and more.
To be the most effective in a group setting we need proficiency in procedural skills. These skills and processes are required most in an organization or business but can be useful in any group — including families, informal interest groups like a book club, or a small activist group.
Procedural skills include being organized, the manner in which we make decisions, and how we proceed in a committee. The…
Over 30 years ago when I began my study of psychology, the world-renowned psychologist, Alice Miller came to my attention. Her decades of work as a psychoanalyst offered intriguing theories that revealed the underlying cause of the emotional disturbances and mental illness of her patients, as well as what was required for their healing.
I read several of her books, but the one with a story that is etched in my brain and has haunted me for all these years is her fifth book, Banished Knowledge: Facing Childhood Injuries
The book opens with Miller describing a Saint Nicholas Celebration in…